2004-09-01
boredom and chlamydia
DEARABBYTROBY: I am 13 and live in a small town. I need to know something: Is boredom normal? I got up one morning and realized how bored I am. I don't mean bored with nothing to do. I am bored with myself and my daily routine.I'm not especially sad, just bored with life itself -- the people I see every day, the town I live in, the way I look, my boyfriend, my room, going to school -- "same old, same old."
I want this feeling to go away. What can I do? -- RESTLESS TEEN IN MARYLAND
DEAR STUPID TEEN: Well I've never heard of this malady before. Boredom? Sounds serious, I suggest you seek a qualified health professional immediately. I can assure you that it is not normal for people to get bored with life. People normally are very excited by and satisfied with their daily routine of going to work, pretending to be happy, driving home in traffic, making their kids feel bad, then watching some exciting and stimulating reality TV show before going to bed in a different bed from their spouse. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect you were a communist. If you're bored with things, try having sex with your boyfriend, the fear of getting pregnant will surely spice things up. Or, do something productive with your time. -- TROBY
DEARABBYTROBY: I'm 14 and my name is "Pearl." I just found out that I might have chlamydia. I really like this guy and I need to know if I should tell him. What should I do? I am a little scared. Please answer soon. -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN LANCASTER, CALIF.
DEAR NEW HO: Congratulations, you've now joined the legions of women in America whose procurement of venerial diseases ensures them a spot in the ever-increasing club of hoedom.
It's generally a good idea to tell people when you have venerial diseases so that they don't catch them, but the choice is yours.
It must suck to have chlamydia, but all is not lost, you can get treatment for it and then cut back on your ho-ing around, and realize that you don't have to be a ho for life, but instead can explore what else this beautiful world has to offer...like oral sex.